This is one of the most complicated posts I've tried to write thus far this semester simply because it is one of the most complicated feelings I've felt thus far in my life. My time here in Japan is quickly coming to an end. By quickly, I mean by tomorrow we'll have entered the 2 week mark and soon after that, there will be single digits. In Japanese there are grammatical patterns to show that something is disappointing or you're upset about it. In english, you just have to read my mind. On my blog, I'm just gonna tell you that December sucks a little because it means I'm going home soon.
Though it is the weirdest place I've ever been, Japan has definitely stolen a little piece of my heart. Imagine a place that is so bizarre you wake up and laugh at something every day. A place where they eat everything -- sometimes they cook it, sometimes they don't. A place where adults have cell phone charms (still gets me every time). A place the most ridiculous thing you could think of could become a norm. Welp, that's Japan.
Mind you, I haven't loved every second. It's extremely difficult to live in a country where you barely understand anyone. I'm starting to get sick of the food, I'm mad at Tokyo for being so expensive, I hate that konbinis are so damn convenient (just kidding, I love you, konbini). But, things are starting to get a little old. Sometimes it feels like a dream, like I'm just waiting to wake up and go back to America. But other times, it feels like something I won't know how to live with once I get back to America. How do I act now? I just spent 3 and a half months specifically trying not to use English...and you want me to write a paper? Of course, I'm overjoyed at the thought of coming home for Christmas and seeing all my friends and family. I guess the part I really just don't understand is how this all plays a role in the rest of my life.
At my ripe young age of 20 it seems the dreaded "What are you going to do with your life?" question is thrown in my face every day. It took me long enough to pick my major, now let me sit on that for a while. But this is my time to decide, to explore, to learn. If Japan has taught me anything it's that I'll never be satisfied if I don't travel. How else would I have found out there's a soda here named "Calpis" which, when pronounced, sounds exactly like "cow piss." I could not have died happy not knowing that. So maybe that means there will one day be a "Lost in Chile" or "Lost in Minnesota" (both of which have equally foreign cultures to me), or maybe it means a job abroad after graduation, or a year or two of service. I really just don't know. For someone who has the hardest time making decisions, this has really thrown a curveball into the whole 'my future' concept.
So, while I sit here in this very wonderful and mysterious country, I'm sad to see this semester coming to a close. But more than that, I'm excited to see what the rest of my life has in store because of the knowledge and experiences I've gained here.